Finding Good Friends

This isn't easy for anyone let alone a special needs parent. I've got a handful of good close friends that I'm in contact with on the daily. Some of them can understand where I'm coming from because they live the same life. The other ones don't understand at all and I don't blame them, they try.

I find as I've gotten older that everyone has their own issues to deal with and when it really comes down to needing someone, people usually aren't there. Very few are and those few don't get forgotten. 

You run into people who live to hear their own voice (gag me), people who will take advantage of your kindness,  people who cheat on their spouses because they're unhappy and don't say anything or try to fix it,  the narcissist who can't stop taking and posting selfies for attention, the bestfriend who doesn't bother to let you know until you've messaged her 30 minutes after she's normally at your place only to be told she's "having an off day".

I don't even know how many times I've heard this line from her :/ And it's fine but at least give me the courtesy of letting me know you're not going to show up when you have been for the past 2 years.

Maybe it's just me but I can manage to care for my two special needs kids AND still make a call or text a message to someone. And "off day" are you kidding me?! lol

Girl doesn't even know what an off day is imo. She's got it pretty damn easy.

M

First day Until 2:30 at Daycare or was it?

It's 9:59 am. Dropped the kids off at daycare at 8:30 and today they'll be there until 2:30 :(
For S she's been in a specialized nursery school for autistic kids since last September  and she's doing exceptionally well. But for E all this is new to her and she's having a harder time letting mama go as am I having a difficult time being away from her.

For the past 2 weeks E has been in daycare from 9-12 after a week it went to 12:30 and today we're going to try until 2:30. Everyday I pick the girls up, E falls asleep right after for about 2 1/2 hours so I'm hoping she can fall asleep there and get some rest during the day.

S started out at this new place because the centre she was at is closing. The government doesn't want to pay for segregated nursery schools for autistic kids anymore they want to have them included in typical classes with assistance from an EA.
She went from 9-12 at the old place and when she started out at the new centre for the first week she was there from 9-12 and the second week we moved it to 9-12:45, and today just like with E, we're going to do until 2:30 and see how the girls do.

To be honest I'm not concerned about S, she's older and is kinda in the hang of things and is totally fine with strangers, new things etc. While E is so attached to me, and is much younger she isn't used to all this and it's tough on her as it has been on me too.

I know this is great for them don't get me wrong, it's just so many hours without them has me feeling...empty, lost even. I feel at peace when my kids are with me regardless if they drive me batty sometimes. I have a hard time trusting people but I'm getting more comfortable with the people at the daycare and getting to know them which is helping that anxiety.

I worry for my girls. How is school going to look for them? Are they going to be okay? Will they get the help they need? Is someone going to abuse them? How will I ever know? And I understand these are fears that all parents have for their children, I get that.
I personally feel for me anyways it's more intense when you have a child with special needs because they need specific things that aren't so obviously to the common person. And some are non verbal like E and S is using words majority of the time, throughout the day she'll use 3 word sentences to tell me what she wants but sometimes she doesn't. A lot of these kids don't communicate the same way you or I would and I get that it's confusing, heck it's confusing to me and I live it lol :)

I've been living with autism since before S was diagnosed so I've been around it for a bit now and my mama senses are pretty good 98% of the time but theres definitely times throughout the day where I can't figure out what they want and I've been around them 24/7 since they came into the world. How is someone else going to figure it out I worry about. But they will figure it out with my help and knowledge of what I know about my girls and observing them, they'll figure it out just like I did and maybe, probably learn new tricks.

This has been a process for everyone involved and theres quite a few that are. Each day gets just that much better for E which makes me feel less guilty having her there. Both my girls need to be around other kids and not only kids with autism, typical kids too. They need to play, thats all they need right now and some guidance.

Although, I cannot wait to pick them up :)

M

Update: got a call around 1:18 just saying pretty much that they've tried everything to calm E at nap time and I've also asked if she's inconsolable to call me, so they did. Got there in a few minutes and she was out cold <3 She was able to sleep until 2:30 which I let her cause she takes a nap every day. Unfortunately I had to wake her up because it was time to go. So needless to say she had a very good day for such a long one and her first. When I got there I could hear S having an issue in the other room. She was upset because she was woken up. S can't sleep more than 30 or so minutes during the day before a certain time or she won't go to bed. I went into the room and held her, talked with her etc, her EA was there too (was her first day with S).
S and I left the room and waited in the hallway for E to wake up, munching on veggie sticks and reading :)

First post, my life

I've been meaning to start up a blog and get my thoughts out, maybe help someone going through the same thing. Who knows but I think it's healthy to share stories and experiences. So here's my story...


I'm 38, single and a mother of two wonderful little girls both diagnosed with autism. E is 20 months, diagnosed at 15 months and S is 4 years old diagnosed at 2 1/2.

I'm gonna start out by saying, it's hard! It's constant work, filling out forms, faxing, making phone calls, emailing, therapy, if they happen to be in daycare or a program etc, constantly singing for my kids.
I sing all day everyday to make transitions easier.
For those that don't know what a transition is in the autism world, it's changing scenery or changing activity whatever they happen to be doing. For some people with autism transitions aren't a factor, although quite a few deal with this and my two girls do aswell. So singing while changing diapers, brushing teeth, waiting for the bus anything really or have their favourite music on. Music does WONDERS for us!! I cannot stress this enough.
They love nursery rhymes, not radio tunes and both will let you know fast if it's not what they want to hear by screaming at the top of their lungs, crying, kicking and flailing. I'm their mum obviously I know them best and even I don't always know what they want or need.

With my youngest who's non verbal right now she cries or bangs her head on the floor when she's frustrated. My oldest is just learning to say "frustrated" when she is but doesn't always say it. Sometimes we can work through it fast other times not so easily. When S is feeling overwhelmed and frustrated she will jump up in the air and land on her bum, run around the house back and forth, ping pong herself off of things, plug her ears and close her eyes (also does this when she's excited), she also hits her head on the floor.

Both of my girls seek out deep pressure touch. They don't "like" it, they need it. They find it calming. They also have a fascination with belly buttons :) My oldest S is sorta growing out of it but still does it and little E has no problem lifting up my shirt wherever we happen to be or lifting up other people's tops too. We co-sleep E and I and every night she'll lift up my top and squish my skin and stick that little finger in my belly button lol. She'll do this for about 5 minutes or so until she flops off me, lands beside me on her tummy with her fingers in her belly button. And thats how she falls asleep every night. If I'm wearing her in the carrier, she finds her button no problem, plays with it and passes out.

I'll go more into detail about their sensory needs in future posts.

Going to end this post here and hope my life can make you smile :)